New Meal Monday- Spice Rubbed Roasted Salmon

As promised- New Meal Monday!

Tonight's dish: Spice-Rubbed Roasted Salmon

I will forewarn about tonight’s dish... I did a fair amount of guess-timation. I didn't physically measure my spices because the original recipe called for 6 filets of salmon (almost 2 pounds). Because I had no intention of eating 2 pounds of salmon tonight, I just sprinkled my filet generously with spice.

Ingredients:

1. Salmon Filet
2. Sea Salt
3. Ground Cumin (one of my new favorite spices to cook with! Feel free to enter a “That’s What She Said” here, I did the first time I wrote it).
4. Paprika
5. Ground Cinnamon
6. Freshly Ground Black Pepper
7. Cooking Spray
8. Lemon Juice

Preparation:

1. Preheat oven to 400'

2. Spray a sheet of tin foil with cooking spray
3. Place salmon filet on tin foil and sprinkle generously the 5 spices.
4. Splash approximately 1 tablespoon of lemon juice over filet, and wrap the foil as a "pocket"
5. Bake in the oven for approximately 22 minutes.

"Foil Pocket"

Nutrition: 3 Weight Watchers Points (Old System)

 

Yummy Yummy!

Minus the defrosting process of the salmon filet, this dish could seriously not be easier!  Plus it tastes a bit like Christmas with its big bold spice flavors! I paired with a side of long-grain wild rice making my whole dinner a total of 7 points.  Not a bad day paired with my 2 two point snacks and California roll for lunch. I should have plenty of omega-3's going through my system (whatever they are good for!)

Enjoy!

-K

(The Delayed) Weekly Update

So Friday morning I genuinely was avoiding this thing.... I had every intention to update the blog in the afternoon when I got home from school but time just seemed to slip away from me this weekend. For a "no plans" weekend, I certainly filled every minute.

So a long a due weekly update...

The Bottom Line
-1.0 lbs

Total Weight Loss: 4.6 lbs

Positives for the Week:

1. Great week in the gym. I felt I hadn’t blown my weekend like I did the weekend in Hocking Hills, yet I remained on my vigorous workout schedule. I truly felt like things weren’t going to be that bad Friday morning. I plan to keep it up.

2. Waking up at 6:05 on a Sunday morning to go for a power-walk? A positive for the week doesn’t seem enough, this practically deserves a parade!

Room for Improvement:

1. Eating when I’m not hungry… particularly Thursday for conferences. I had a particularly heavy lunch since I knew I wouldn’t have time for dinner but that didn’t stop me from eating the meal Chris made for me when I got home. Maybe I felt guilty the food would go to waste? Maybe I was just eating to eat? Either way, I point this as the reason what made me post-pone my weekly blog update.

2. Am I really trying that hard? This is something that crossed my mind Friday morning. When I saw the original number and had an absolute meltdown the thoughts began processing am I really giving this my all? Yes, I want the weight to fall off, and rather quickly, but if this was the case wouldn’t I be trying quote, unquote “harder.” Yes I’m putting the time in at the gym, and yes staying well within my points, but there is almost a feeling of lack of deprival. It’s a bit hard to explain, but by me not feeling all that deprived from what I’m eating (the occasional cookie, drink with dinner) am I really putting my all into this diet? Does diet automatically mean withdrawal? We will see what this week brings.

3. I’m bringing a lot more water into my diet this week. Like, a gallon a day. I plan on dedicating an entire blog to this once I process 4 days of the ultimate hydration, so stay tuned!

This weekend was the first time in a long time I actually ate out every night. I really tried to eat as healthy as possible, focusing on how my stomach was feeling and not over doing it. I ate a lot of salads, A LOT, but they were really yummy and left me feeling full every night. Combine this with the gallon of water I drank each day and the form of cardio I forced myself to do, hopefully it will remain a successful weigh in week. I feel like I should break it down for a future guide if this week does in fact remain successful, if it does not, I can further look where to tweak. I'll admit right up front, I'm not including the bread I ate, and I did enjoy the basket of bread on more than one night. That’s right, basket.

Friday: Dinner at Roosters with mom. Shared the chips and queso appetizer and I ate half a red, bacon, and blue salad. There was so much bacon on the salad (and I do love bacon) that I didn't even need much dressing.

Saturday: Dinner at Brio with Chris. Half a brushetta appetizer with Chris and a side wedge salad. We also had a couple drinks but it was a Saturday night and I'm not going to feel guilty for that.

Sunday: Dinner at McCormick and Schmidts: Since Chris is a vet (thank you honey!) he got a free meal at our favorite seafood place. Last time we ate here I went absolutely nuts since it was so delicious. This time I decided to go with the side wedge salad and half an order of shrimp scampi. I know Shrimp scampi and pasta is as far from healthy as you can get, but Chris was not hearing it when I told him I'm only ordering a salad at a fancy seafood place. No drinks this time, and they didn't have the dessert I thought they did so no desert either.... So not as horrible as it could have possibly been.

Obviously today will have a second post since it is new meal Monday... so another stay tuned for tonight!

-K

Keeping the Mindset

I'm starting to think the "funk" has just progressed into an issue of "I'm really, really tired." I really have no reason not to blog... but the days seem to be losing hours, and I'm spending most of my free time heading to bed early, or playing the Sims. Probably another effect of the time change...

To pick up from last week, no matter how sour my mood was, I owe it to myself to recap and refocus. Yes, the weigh in killed me. But what it did Friday was give me a kick to really really try hard for the weekend. My gut told me that weigh in had to be wrong, so I decided to break my rule and check back Saturday morning. I was right, and had I saved my weigh in for Saturday (like I initially planned) everything would have been ok. In fact, I would have been .2 down for the week instead of 1.4 up. I have to credit this loss to eating extremely healthy on Friday, though, a ritual I usually don't follow. Friday's have always been my kind of "break day", I don't work out, I usually enjoy a good dinner, and then follow up with a few I celebrated the end of the week drinks. That was not the case Friday, I followed my points like there was no tomorrow, I analyzed, calculated, and planned everything that day because of my devastating blow that morning. If I wanted to enjoy Friday night, I was going to have to work for it. It's too bad I don't do this all the time. If I had this mindset every day, instead of just when I see a bad number, this weight loss thing wouldn't be so hard to do.

Friday did make for a nice push into the weekend. I hit the gym early Saturday morning to counter anything I might do for the weekend, and work up at 6:05AM to take Athena for a 2.5 mile power walk before the Browns game. Yeah it was early, but it took some of the guilt away from how "bad" I had eaten for dinner Saturday night. Overall, it wasn't a completely blown weekend (leaps and bounds better than the weekend before) and hopefully it will show for this week’s weigh in. I've been hitting the gym almost as hard as last week, and I hope to continue this in the weeks to come. I don't want the funk I was in last week to haunt me through this whole weight loss process- because if my history of weight loss is any indicator- I'm in for a yearlong funk.

Fingers double triple crossed for tomorrow. I can't hit the gym tonight because I'm in teacher conferences until 8 tonight, asking myself to hit the gym after is just not realistic or in the cards. Let’s hope I can channel last Friday to bring me to a good today and tomorrow.

New Meal Monday- Turkey Joes and Chips

This time change is certainly throwing me off- dark by 5:50? Really?! In my mind this means it’s time for soup season. Unfortunately I did not prepare adequately and my kitchen lacks basic essentials for getting a good pot of soup going, oh well, maybe next week!

I'm keeping this one short and simple- I have a lot I want to blog about this past weekend but for whatever reason I'm lacking the motivation to write the blog. Could be the 75 minute workout? Or worried about my chips burning... Either way I'll save that for a midweek post!

This Week's New Meal Monday: Turkey Sloppy Joes and Homemade potato Chips:

The turkey sloppy Joe’s I'm not doing anything special. Just follow the back of a can of good ole Man-Wich substituting ground turkey meat for ground meat and Wahlah! Turkey Sloppy Joes. I'm putting mine over a bed of lettuce instead of the bun to save a few calories, and save some lettuce in my fridge from going bad.

Homemade Potato Chips: Serves 2

Ingredients:

1 teaspoon ground pepper

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon Emerald Essence Seasoning

2 Red Skinned Potatoes peeled and sliced

Preparation:

Preheat oven to 375

Peel and slice potatoes- mine are about 1/8th inch thick

Line Potatoes on baking sheet and spray some type of non stick oil (Pam, etc). This allows the spices to stick without using olive oil- a little taste difference, but not much.

Combine 3 spice ingredients- sprinkle generously over sliced potatoes.

Bake for 25 minutes. I suggest flipping them at minute 20; otherwise they get a little dark on one side.

Nutrition:
2 Weight Watcher Points

A little cheese instead of a bun, yes please!

Easy peasy! Not quite the homerun meal like last week, but I did laundry all day- I figured that was housewife-y enough with dinner still on the table!

PS- my husband loves this whole new meal Monday thing- he even sent me a text to remind me! Hopefully he's not let down this week!

 

Weekly Update

I've gone back and forth all day on whether to actually update this. Fact: I'm too depressed, embarrassed, upset, wrecked (insert other depressing synonyms) to really handle this so I'm going to make it as painstakingly easy as possible. I gained weight, it sucks. I know I had a bad weekend, but I really put the effort into the gym this week to work it off. I feel fat, worthless, bloated, and I'm going to probably break down in tears any minute (which isn't so great when you’re subbing a class of 25 fourteen year olds). Maybe this is PMS and when I weight in next week I'll magically be 4 lbs lighter? Who knows? Here's to hoping for a better week....

The Bottom Line

+1.4 lbs

Total Weight Loss: (-3.6 lbs)

Maybe I'll be in a better mindset tomorrow and actually able to write the positives and goals. Game plan for right now is to survive the day, and take a long walk when I get home with the pups. This mindset goes on any longer I'm really in for stormy days ahead, time to snap out of it. Must snap out of it. 



Fighting On

Tomorrow's weigh in has me a little more than nervous. It's one of those sick to my stomach, can't snap out of a funk nervous days. I may have slipped up on my promise not to have pop this week (I've had 2), but I've been guzzling water that should more than make up for it. I've also hit the gym every day as promised, and only last night fell short of my 1 hour goal (after 42 minutes I realized I really would rather be at home with the hubby). I realize it’s not the end of the world if I've put on weight since last week... it’s just that ever since I realized I packed back on the weight (and much more than expected) I haven't been able to break out of a continued depression I've had. More than anything I just want to feel happy again. I want to see a number that doesn't make me feel like quite a failure. It's something that’s hard to admit, but any number really won't make me feel better tomorrow or worthy of my dieting woes. I just want to wake up and poof! The last 2 months haven't happened eating wise. Sigh.... the fight continues on.

What helps a girl snap out of such a funk? Shopping. Always. Right now I'm on the hunt for the perfect little black dress to wear to New York with my sisters when we dine at Tom Colicchio's NYC restaurant. (My reality obsession is Top Chef, I've eaten at his Dallas restaurant and it could easily qualify as the last meal of my life, can't wait to try the NYC version). If I can use November to get some of this weight off I've promised myself I'm allowed to splurge and buy. (Who said a little bribery for motivation doesn't work?!)

 

Express.com Would love this little beaut!

Express.com- Could double for NYE?

Express.com- A little short for school but at least I can use it for winter!

White House Black Market- Could totally teach in this!



White House Black Market- Come Hell or High Water I want to pull off the tunic look!

Happy Halloween

Hope your halloween is going spook-tacular!

 

I feel I am not alone with most American's when I state- I love Holidays. Thanksgiving, Christmas, 4th of July, Halloween, I love them all! Each with something that makes them unique (dressing up, lighting things on fire), yet each has something that ties them all together- food.

 

I'm not much of a sweet tooth, but that doesn't mean I don't love a piece of candy here and there on halloween.  Here are my tips for "healthier" candy choices on Halloween.

 

3 Musketeer’s- The mini's are only 24 calories, and the light fluffy chocolate doesn't make you feel awful after eating them.  Makes it easy to curb that chocolate craving without hurting diet plans.

 

York Peppermint Patties-Light and airy filling means fewer calories!  Plus, I can't say no to the intense mint taste and dark-chocolate wonderfulness! Usually I eat one of these after a big bowl of skyline chili, but this will satisfy my sweet tooth tonight.

 

Tootsie Carmel Apple Pop- 60 calories, less than .5 gram of fat. Suckers generally last a long time — meaning that by the time you finish them, you won't feel the need to go back for seconds...or thirds...or fourths

Candy Corn- My absolute favorite candy of the season! Seriously, if these didn't go bad so fast I'd keep them on hand all year around.  I look forward to these like I look forward to pumpkin spiced latte's every fall! They're a little on the light side as far as a serving goes, but if you truley need to curb the sugar craving- nothing says Halloween more! (10 pieces) 64 calories, 0g fat.

 

.... Bummer, my favorites aren't on the list :( Cookies and Cream Hershey Bars and a close runner up, Twix!   But hey, at least I have some survival techniques for surviving this sugar based holiday!)  

 

 

Chipotle is having a deal going on if you dress in costume they will give you your meal for $2.00. Hubby and I will defiantly be hitting that up tonight. I've been meaning to do a blog that sing's Chiptole's praises.  Maybe I'll have to save that one for tomorrow...

 

STAY SAFE TRICK-OR-TREATERS! BOO!

 

-K 

New Meal Monday

So it should be a surprise to no one the weekend gives me anxiety. I typically throw the diet to the wind (which I embarrassingly did this weekend, as predicted) and am left feeling Monday guilty, panicked, and stressed for the week's weigh in. I always convince myself of the worse case scenario (like I gained 23 pounds in a weekend) and I use this mindset to harbor the worst habits imaginable throughout the week. I made myself a new promise this week- no matter how bad I was this weekend; I'm going to fix it before Friday. I will do this with 3 goals:

1. Cut out pop- replacing only with water. Let’s see how this plays out.

2. Hit the gym- hard. We're talking hour workouts with no excuses. I promised myself this weekend that it was ok to eat how I was- but only if I would make up for it in the gym this week with a 150% improved effort from last week. I plan on keeping this promise, but I should probably find a more interesting book.

3. Create a new healthy meal to keep me entertained and within my points. I'm starting to really enjoy cooking- especially when I know it’s going towards my weight loss goals. Hence, introducing this blog's newest tradition! New Meal Monday!

This Week's New Meal Monday: Roasted Red Pepper and Herb Pasta with Chicken (changed and adapted from myrecipies.com)

Meal for 2:

Ingredients

1 Red Bell Pepper

1 1/2 Cup Uncooked Whole Grain Pasta (I'm using Rigatoni, or swirly pasta and I call them)

1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil

1/2 tablespoon unsalted butter

1 tablespoon minced garlic (I love garlic, so I left this with the original version)

3 Raw Chicken Tender Strips, sliced

2 oz lemon juice

1 tablespoon parsley

1/2 teaspoon thyme

1/2 teaspoon poultry seasoning (because I don't have the recommended sage on hand)

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper

1/2 teaspoon extra-virgin olive oil (set aside for later)

1 tablespoon shaved fresh Parmesan cheese (set aside for later)

Preparation:

1. Preheat Boiler

2. Cut bell peppers in half lengthwise; discard seeds and membranes. Place pepper halves, skin sides up, on a foil-lined baking sheet; flatten with hand. Broil 20-25 minutes or until blackened on 350. Peel and chop; set aside.

3. Cook pasta according to directions, keep warm.

4. Heat 1 tablespoon of olive oil and 1/2 tablespoon butter in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add garlic to pan, and cook for 4 minutes stirring frequently. Add chicken to the pan, and cook until done. Add bell peppers and 2 oz of lemon juice to the pan, and cook for 4 minutes or until half of the liquid has evaporated. Add chopped parsley and the next 5 ingredients (through 1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper) to the chicken mixture. Remove pan from heat.

5. Combine cooked pasta and 1/2 teaspoon olive oil in a large bowl; toss well. Add chicken mixture, tossing gently to coat. Top each serving with cheese.

Nutrition: Calories: 376 Fat: 10.5 Fiber: 4.9 WW Points (Old System): 8


I ended up cutting the butter, and using it on bread instead. I'd call it a win. A little time intensive (30- 45 minutes) but my husband (and I) loved it. He gives it 5 out of 5! Not bad for a picky eater. We'll be keeping this one for future recipes go-to's.

We had all the ingredients already at home- a first for me and new recipies!

 

Wah-la! A finished, delicious, meal for 2!



Week 2 Wrap Up

Luckily this morning the hard work paid off! Let’s hope I can carry this drive through the weekend with my in-laws!

My in-laws cooking is hands down amazing, so good in fact, that I typically lose control and always call it a "scrap weekend." My goal this week is simple- not to let this happen. Yes, the food is amazing, and yes I will want to overindulge, but I need to practice self control in these situations, particularly with the holidays around the corner. I did not do a very good job last weekend but the scales results this morning showed that my big day last Saturday was ok, sometimes it’s alright to give in a little bit.  Hopefully I don’t take this mindset to the extreme like I have in years past.  While dieting for my best friend’s wedding I made every Friday and Saturday a day off, how I lost the weight I even did is beyond me (mindset maybe?) No matter what happens this weekend, though, I know I need to put the required effort in the gym next week. Keep pushing, keep believing, and keep going forward!

The Bottom Line

-2.4 lbs

Total Weight Loss: 5 lbs

Positives for the Week:

1. Yesterday I pretty much summed it up; I got my butt to the gym even when I was feeling my worse. Kuddo's of positive points for me.

2. Keeping a good weight watchers week. As far as I know I am not over, or have tapped into my weekend bonus points. This should help me a little bit for the weekend of amazing eating!

Goals for Improvement:

1. I discovered this week I have a saltlick. For whatever reason I find salty, cheesy, carby foods absolutely amazing. (I mean seriously, who doesn't.) It didn't really hit me until this week, though, that I am drawn towards foods much higher in sodium (soy sauce, diet pop, lean cuisine meals, Panera bread) than I should be. I'm sure this can't be good for a variety of health and dieting reasons so this week I'm going to attempt to make more active choices that are lower in sodium. Still working on the whole cream based food thing from last week...

2. I got sick this week. I can make excuses that I was not feeling good and I was just trying to make the pain go away (I legit was on a sick day from school, that I am not bs-ing) but then I feel I wouldn't be honest. The fact is my fingers should be nowhere near my throat. Bottom line can't happen again.  

3. Bump up my workout regiment to include more than just the elliptical, I need to incorporate more variety or this gym thing is going to be getting old fast!

Have a great (cooled down, rainy possibly snowy?) Weekend!

-K



Finding that Little Push

Who made the dumb idea of making 128 research papers due the week of finals? This new teacher, right here.  Needless to say I am up to my eyeballs in 12 point, poor written front.  Flat out? I'm exhausted. To boot I called in sick Tuesday clocking my first sick day of the year and am still recovering from whatever odd end stomach bug I've caught from the students. It's made it increasingly hard to find the drive to work out this week.

Walking out of school yesterday I had clocked 6 hours of sleep the night before and spent all day playing referee to a review jeopardy game that got out of control.  I had packed gym clothes to go for an afternoon workout, but mentally I just wasn't feeling it.  I figured what would be the harm in going straight home? I could probably hit the gym that night after a good afternoon catnap. I knew the second I got in the car if I went home, the gym wasn't happening.  I breathed to myself this is worth it, I know your tired now, but on Friday and during the summer your hard work will feel greater than any feeling a nap could conjure. A "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" kind of peptalk.  Whatever it was I was telling myself, it worked. I went to the gym, pushed through 45 minutes on the elliptical, found the energy to go to the store and stock up on yummy healthy meals, and get to bed at a decent time. All in all, the push was worth it. 

Same story today, dead tired, wanting to crash at home, but I found that if I don't hit the gym after school my chances of actually going greatly decrease.  I need to continually tell myself this sacrifice is worth it, this process will feel greater at the finish line than anything ever will. I never want again that feeling I had 2 weeks ago. I don't want that desperation and devastation back, I want success. What I need to focus on is the end goal, and breathing.

Lets hope the scale tomorrow rewards me for this hard work. As much as I'd hate to admit this, that number is what makes it all worth it.

Fingers crossed -K

PS. There has been an increasingly annoying ad on the radio for Hass Avocados- the one where the chick makes tuna salad substituting mayo for avocado- you knows its creamy and buttery, and oh! She puts walnuts in it, then her boss eats it and she lays over like a dog and goes out and buy lunch instead of blowing up on the ass who stole her lunch. (What can I say, I'm food aggressive) I hate that commercial, but for whatever reason it got to me in the store yesterday. I tried avocado tuna salad today for lunch- not worth it. Last time I trust sketchball marketing food adds! Just putting out a public service announcement for the good of society! :)

Killer Spooky Parties

As much as I would love to admit I was good the entire weekend with this whole diet thing, that would be an utter lie. Friday night I was excellent, yesterday, arguably excellent, and Saturday- I just blew it.

The event was a halloween party hosted by one of my very good friends.  Good company, and even better (less than healthy) food.  We're talking candy, cheese based dips, and enough guacamole I might as well of just had the  bowl to myself.  As weak as my attempts were to keep it under control halfway through the evening I decided its somewhat ok I did not. I was very conscious of the amount of food I was eating and as much as I fought myself on continuing not to gorge myself at the snack table, part of me just said f* it, enjoy yourself, and stop being a slave to this whole food thing. 

I'm failing to comprehend whey the door won't open Olmec! Me & my friend Ryan rocking out our childhood dream.

Our First Halloween as a old married couple. Notice the sudden lack of slutty attire? My Husband's less than happy.

It kind of helped. I paid for it at the gym yesterday. I guess that's where I'll give myself kudo's points. I was in sweats, feeling awful, and not really in the mood to move, but still climbed out of bed and knocked out a 45 minutes, 650 some calorie workout. And still ate my required points for the day. Old me would not have forced herself to eat the points, rather sit and sulk over too many points the day before. New me wants to do this correctly, again.

While at the gym I had an interesting realization, the is the first time in attempting to get this weight thing under control I'm not under a deadline. I'm not a bridesmaid, a bride, or trying to fit in a tiny bikini by spring break. It's literally me and time.  This has both positives and negatives to it... first off, it doesn't hold me accountable to anything. If I don't lose the weight, what's the harm? I suppose nothing.  On the other hand, though, this doesn't put the added pressure on me while the deadline is caving in to freak out and suddenly drop a bunch of weight through unhealthy measures.   In the long run will this be more helpful to my success? I guess we'll have to tune in and see. Ideally, yes, I would like this extra packed on fall coat off sooner rather than later, but its nice to know if I don't succeed by (insert random important deadline here) my diet world doesn't have to end.


I guess that's all for today. I have the terrible feeling I've caught the stomach flu that's going around my school... just what I want with 128 papers to grade and it being finals week.  At least its easy to diet when all you can keep down is chicken broth and crackers!

Wrap Up Week 1

I was hit with a harsh reality this morning. That number I saw was not a miscalculated phase based on one bad night of over eating, or a vacation of indulgences, that number I saw last week was my actual weight. Bummer. The reason I know this? My arch enemy, the scale, only budged slightly. I have truly never been more upset to see a weight loss when it confirmed that I really did pack on that much weight in 2 months.

Here's the thing though... last week I could not come to terms with the girl staring back at me weighed that much. Literally, I thought it was unrealistic. I hadn't seen that much change to my body, my clothes appeared to be fitting fine, and I thought at most I may have packed on 5 pounds. Where was this extra 20 being put?! You’re probably wondering why the hell I even am bothering if I was happy with my appearance. The bottom line, I am a slave to numbers. I admit it, I know it, and I really don't have any concrete plan for fixing it. I've been that way my entire life, whether it’s the scale, grades, GPA, or my bank account if a number doesn't reflect what I want to see I lose it. Obviously the most daunting to my success is the scale. As much as I would love to admit I can overcome my obsession, I don't see this happening anytime in the near future. My solution? Embrace it, and work on health habits to make sure when I do see a number I love, it sticks around.

Ok, now to the weekly wrap up, something I would like to spend more time focusing on each week. Pretty much what I will do is list the results of the week, the positives of the week, and the spaces for improvement. I'm attempting to add some logical improvement tips to this pity party I seem to be throwing myself.

The Bottom Line

-2.4 lbs

Positives of the Week:

1. Made it to the gym every day but Tuesday. Thinking of going today, which I can't even remember the last time I considered a gym day on a Friday.

2. Healthy eating out! Had a great sushi meal last night in which I really think I put the effort into making good choices. No mayonnaise based sauces or tempura deep fried for me! Filling, and as far as I know, really healthy! Also props for not ordering a drink when everyone else did. Water (and 1 diet coke) was fine for me!

3. Didn't have a break down in front of my students. Trust me, the week I had, this was a positive.

Goals for Improvement:

1. I ate a lot of salt this week, could that contribute to the bloated packed on feeling? Look to decrease salt this week.

2. Increase water intake. Yeah, I did better this week than in the last 3 months, but keep upping the ante. Water just cleanses all the junk out.

3. Research cream allergies. I'm noticing a trend when I eat anything cream based, including items that are supposedly "better" for you (zero fat sour cream, less calorie ice cream) and to boot I'm eating them within the suggested portions. The result, though, always seems to be added on weight in the morning. I read awhile back that sometimes when you have an allergy to a food (like eggs) it could actually contribute to weight gain. Not sure how solid the research is, so something to look into.

4. Enjoy the Weekend. Don't let this piss poor mood I've been in all week bring me down. I'm seeing great friends this weekend for a Halloween party, there is zero reason my mood should be trampled because I'm overwhelmed with a buffet of Halloween treats. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

Have a Great Weekend!

-K



Another Whirl Around

My friends, it has been awhile. It's nothing against this blog, life just started to get in the way! It has been one rollercoaster of a year, and not even in a bad way! I've seen my best friend give birth to a beautiful baby girl, seen the love and support of family & friends gather around me for 2 wonderful bridal showers & a bachelorette party, took a once and a lifetime trip to Cancun with a good friend, married my best friend in the hands down best day of my life, and then followed it up with an over the top absolutely amazing honeymoon to Cabo San Lucas, and then accepted a long term teaching job at my alma mater fulfilling my dream of actually getting paid to do what I love, teach. I really have no excuses to complain about nothing.

Somewhere within all this joy, love and amazingness, darkness crept in though. It was an unexpected right hook into the gut last week when I finally decided to take what my scale had to say seriously. But let me back up first....

On my wedding day I was 2 pounds within my goal. For all intends and purposes, I had reached what I had set out to do. I was 2 pounds within eliminating the Freshman 15 and in my mind I was a success. Trust me, success had never felt sweeter. I'll admit I didn't always go about it in the best of ways. I fell off the wagon about Thanksgiving, but I wasn't a slave to ED like I had been in the past. More than anything I was giving into boredom, and just felt the need to let off steam with food, and "consequences." None the less, two days before my wedding nothing had felt better in the 18 month struggle than seeing all my hard work pay off. I was determined to eliminate the last 2 post wedding, and get on with my married life in a stable happy weight bubble. Boy, was I wrong.

I know why it screwed up. I started assuming the weight would stay off even though I wasn't tracking what I was eating, wasn't staying in the gym, and really over indulging in everything. I started playing "f**k f**k" games with the scale again to trick myself into believing I had only put on a pound or 3. Still happy, still content, still no consequences.

After 3 Oktoberfest weekends in a row of nothing but beer, fried food, and soft pretzels, I knew I had probably put on a little and needed to see what I should work for to get it off. AKA, in my mind one really hard work week at the gym and a couple stingy lunches should take care of that problem. What I saw instead unraveled 18 months of hard work in no less than 2 months. I WAS DEVISTATED. And I had to teach in less than 45 minutes. Nothing hits me harder than weight gain. I usually am able to bounce back from bad fights with my husband, disappointing time management, or other things that bring me down, but this is one thing that will instantly bring me to tears and rarely leaves without leaving my day in ruins. Last Friday was no exception. I knew it was time to take a change, again. It moments of weakness and desperation, I knew I had to turn somewhere. I feel friends and family get sick of this ramble, a been there done that with me kind of scenario. I just don't know what to do.

After a week of actually dedicating myself to the gym, eating well within my points, and even taking it pretty easy on the weekend as far as food goes, I still found zero success this morning. I'm in a rut, I'm trapped, and I'm afraid it’s going to take a darker turn for the worst. For whatever reason I logged onto this for the first time in almost a year and read the old me. The me who was determined, the me who took her frustrations and anger and hopes and dreams out through blogging. Maybe I had it right last year; maybe I need something to keep me accountable. If I feel my friends and family can't do that because I no longer want to bother them, then maybe it’s down to me to keep me accountable.

Let’s give this a whirl.... again!