I could kill the scale.

Sorry for the lack of posts but due to my more than inconsistent internet access, this blog has been forced to take an undesired backseat. 

This week has been more than hard.  I'm trying really hard to ignore what my scale says, and partially its because I'm playing f*ck f*ck games with it.  By this, I step on the scale and see the number.  If I don't like the number, I balance on one foot slowly adding weight to the scale until I can get it to stop on a more appropriate number.  I repeat until I think I have my scale fooled, and the number looks better to me.  Is this productive towards weight loss? No. Does it make me happy? Yes.  But in the back of my mind I know it's only temporary because I have given myself a false, inaccurate reading of what I weight. 

I came to the self realization then that although I am far enough along in my recovery that I am capable of keeping a scale in my presence (something that took me almost 4 years to do, but more on that journey later) maybe I shouldn't be weighing myself everyday.  Maybe it would be healthier for my menal health (and less stressful on my emotional state) to simply weight myself once a week, maybe Thursdays before the weekend begins, or Monday's to hold me accountable for them.  This way, I don't guilt trip myself when I eat an extra serving of chips knowing that I could see it on the scale tomorrow.  Instead I'll focus on amping my workout, and it probably won't show the next week.  Stay tuned to see how this next realization works out.