A sign of success is when you don't give in, even at your lowest. I am proud to say I have not given in this week to my good friend ED (ED is a codename between my friends and I for an eating disorder, the personified version of an abusive boyfriend who makes awkward conversations in public socially acceptable). There have been times my head has really not been screwed on straight, and I really just wanted to indulge.
In fact, the steps were even laid for me last night. Out to eat with some friends at our weekly trivia night I shared a plate of Chicken Nachos and a pitcher of Sangria's with my good friend as well as had a kids Sunday to myself. To get an idea of the stress I put on my body, check out this menu ! I didn't even think it was possible to put triple digit fat content in items, but clearly I was wrong. In weeks past I would consume such amounts of food and dispel it an hour later. Just for the pure reason I didn't want to see the consequences of my actions on the scale. But I knew what I got myself into last night, and knew I would have to deal with the consequences in a manner that still enabled me to get to my pedicure.
So I decided today I was going to workout for an hour to cancel out last nights damage. I wouldn't weep over what I had done, instead enjoy the food, company, and hit the gym a little longer the next day. In the back of my mind, though, when I made this desicion I also decided food would not be a part of the plan. But this isn't Kosher and just has red flags appearing all over the place!
How can I say I'm making progress if I'm deciding to starve myself the next day for eating too much the day before? I can't even tell you how many times I did this to myself in years past that left me angry, bitter, and upset when I gave into the fact I was HUNGRY. It's just another form of another eating disorder. The good part is I recognized that this was NOT helpful, that my body needed to eat EACH day and instead had a great lunch after my 675 calorie workout that left me feeling full and satisfied.
Quick! What does these pictures have in common?
Yes, they are all examples of beer. But they are also examples of what I am giving up for the next year. Today marks the one year point until I am a married woman and my year + dieting plan concludes. Don't get me wrong, I love my beer. But this is one sacrifice I feel I need to make to really kick start my weight loss plan. I did this over the 09-10 school year for my best friends wedding, and had a lot of success. But I didn't reach my goal weight. So this time, and since it's MY wedding, I've decided to give up beer for an entire year. Crazy? or Commitment? Time will tell.
Food for thought: I came across this article the other day and it really got me thinking: Why are people uncomfortable sharing what they weight? I, personally, am no different. In fact, the only time I verbalize this number is after massive amounts of Captain and diet coke. You've read my struggles with the scale, and what that struggle basically comes down to is the fear of a number. But this article hit home, and really took the "scary" out of sharing this information. I'll take the first baby step, although I'm not comfortable sharing my current weight, I will share my goal weight: 135. One year and counting to reach that weight!
No comments:
Post a Comment