What got me to this point? Lets Tarantino it.
For the past 3 weeks I have been avidly counting my weight watchers points to the last calorie. Every bonus point has been recorded and every exercise point accounted for. Don't get me wrong, it has been working, and I can feel a flatter, fitter stomach forming. But what I didn't anticipate is it has added a whole new stress to my life in situations where I DON'T know the calories, fat and fiber. In fact I forced a friend to change our dinner plans Friday night because I freaked out that I couldn't find the nutrition information for particular restaurant. My fear was I would accidentally eat a 35 point meal (I did that once at Champps, but not a surprise seeing as we practically deep fry our healthiest items in butter) and instantly ruin everything I worked for the past week.
The fact is I don't have the intuition about food and restaurants to yet cope with these situations. I pretty much assume if its not grilled chicken and steamed veggies, I'm shooting myself in the foot. In high school I didn't do this to myself! Even in the midst of the eating disorder I found out that eating the Ranch Wrap at Champps or the Chicken Faja Salad with its deep fried shell (scuse my server slang on food items, habit) and not throwing it up would not hurt my numbers on the scale. I can even remember thinking wanting to go to Champps because the numbers would not be reflected otherwise. I come to find out I was eating 35-50 point meals?! Where's the sense in that! Even worse than restaurants... I came across my first party social situation on Sunday in which a buffet of food was sat before me and I mentally made note I was going to track the points. What I ate:
1 8 oz glass Apple Cider
3 Shrimp Cocktail with a small tip of Cocktail sauce
1/2 cup *guesstimation* cornbread stuffing
1 cup *guesstimation* broccoli salad
1 slice pork (trust me, small)
A plethora of raw veggies
And for dessert a slice of Angel Food Cake with fresh fruit (Pretty sure I've researched its fairly healthy)
Trying to mentally add up my points and knowing I was near and or over my daily 23 instantly turned my brain against me. It was decided right then and there I was done eating for the day. No ifs, and's or buts, I had burned my points for the day. Again, where's the sense in that? I didn't know that I was about to get a rocking workout serving that night, and even going to successfully do a 5 mile run after. I tried to be rational and say if my stomach's hungry I will eat dinner, knowing damn well I would not follow through. And although I wasn't overly hungry at the end of the day, I compromised with my boday and ate a 2 point granola bar while watching my favorite Sunday night show.
Sure enough the same stress crept on me today... I went out to eat with some fellow co-workers at Piada but had no idea what I was getting into nutrition wise. I settled on an angel hair pasta bowl with all veggies and a spicy sauce, and said it couldn't be more than 14 points, so I'd call it a day. I finished, worked out for 45 minutes (not because I felt I had to but because its on my race training schedule for today), and headed home. Alas, what greeted me at the door was not only my loyal Puggle Brutus, but fresh baked chocolate chip cookies as well (Thanks live in Fiance, I have a wedding dress to fit into, no delicious suprises!). The problem was, I declared at Piada I was done eating for the day, I had to stick to it, right?
Not if I could confirm through the powers of Google I had not eaten all my points for the day! I quickly took to the computer and searched, searched, and searched for 15 minutes for what I had eaten at Piada and how it was going to take a tole on my weekly points. All the while Chocolate Chip cookies are beckoning me from the stove. By the time I failed on the 14th website we get to the beginning of the story... I finally said f#%^ it, and just ate the damn chocolate chip cookie.
No, its not going to effect my weekly bonus points. No I'm not going to punish myself for it tomorrow. Yes, I worked out 45 minutes so I know I earned at least 4 points somewhere, and that's without including yesterday's hour long run. I am just going to eat the cookie, and enjoy every bit of its chocolatey goodness. I don't want to be a slave to this weight watchers system because I don't want to count points forever. I don't want to stress when I can't control every nutritional fact going into my mouth. I picked weight watchers because I felt it overall would improve my eating habits by teaching portion control and smart choices. I can't let my mind take over and run the system... that's just starting new bad habits!
My goal for this week: Research how to eat smart in restaurants when there is no nutrition information available. I have the "Eat This Not that Survival Restaurant Guide." Maybe its time to start using helpful resources at hand and not using a brain with its crazy ideas about skipping dinner...
Plus I'm glad I've come to this realization before the Holiday's... It would be diet suicide to try and count points Thanksgiving Day. I plan on doing exactly what I did with the cookie. Enjoying the time I have with it, as well as the gym time that follows.
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| My Delicious Chocolaty Foe, Hot from the Oven. |
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