Finding that Little Push

Who made the dumb idea of making 128 research papers due the week of finals? This new teacher, right here.  Needless to say I am up to my eyeballs in 12 point, poor written front.  Flat out? I'm exhausted. To boot I called in sick Tuesday clocking my first sick day of the year and am still recovering from whatever odd end stomach bug I've caught from the students. It's made it increasingly hard to find the drive to work out this week.

Walking out of school yesterday I had clocked 6 hours of sleep the night before and spent all day playing referee to a review jeopardy game that got out of control.  I had packed gym clothes to go for an afternoon workout, but mentally I just wasn't feeling it.  I figured what would be the harm in going straight home? I could probably hit the gym that night after a good afternoon catnap. I knew the second I got in the car if I went home, the gym wasn't happening.  I breathed to myself this is worth it, I know your tired now, but on Friday and during the summer your hard work will feel greater than any feeling a nap could conjure. A "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" kind of peptalk.  Whatever it was I was telling myself, it worked. I went to the gym, pushed through 45 minutes on the elliptical, found the energy to go to the store and stock up on yummy healthy meals, and get to bed at a decent time. All in all, the push was worth it. 

Same story today, dead tired, wanting to crash at home, but I found that if I don't hit the gym after school my chances of actually going greatly decrease.  I need to continually tell myself this sacrifice is worth it, this process will feel greater at the finish line than anything ever will. I never want again that feeling I had 2 weeks ago. I don't want that desperation and devastation back, I want success. What I need to focus on is the end goal, and breathing.

Lets hope the scale tomorrow rewards me for this hard work. As much as I'd hate to admit this, that number is what makes it all worth it.

Fingers crossed -K

PS. There has been an increasingly annoying ad on the radio for Hass Avocados- the one where the chick makes tuna salad substituting mayo for avocado- you knows its creamy and buttery, and oh! She puts walnuts in it, then her boss eats it and she lays over like a dog and goes out and buy lunch instead of blowing up on the ass who stole her lunch. (What can I say, I'm food aggressive) I hate that commercial, but for whatever reason it got to me in the store yesterday. I tried avocado tuna salad today for lunch- not worth it. Last time I trust sketchball marketing food adds! Just putting out a public service announcement for the good of society! :)